Concerning Nicolosi, Reparative Therapy and the Use of Porn as a Therapeutic Tool
I got a little negative feedback for acknowledging that I had received reports that a few Reparative Therapists were starting to use pornography in their counseling sessions. I didn’t go into specifics because I wasn’t sure how much I could share in light of not being on the Exodus staff anymore. Nobody at Exodus said for me to “not” share specifics but I wanted to hold back until I knew for sure.
Well, some enterprising bloggers (Throckmorton and Burroway) have dug up all the publicly available information I had here and here.
Nicolosi proposed a workshop for the Exodus Freedom Conference in 2010 that was rejected. Here is part of the intro to that proposal:
Gay Pornography as a Therapeutic Tool
Reparative Therapists have recently developed a therapeutic technique utilizing gay pornographic images to expose deeper emotional needs beneath mere sexual arousal. While many clients have been told that their homosexuality is a defense against emotional needs, this technique offers “experiential knowing” resulting from personal experience. The result is a diminishment of pornographic appeal and movement toward resolving deeper conflicts.
I know this for a fact because I was in the meeting that, without hesitation after the initial shock wore off, rejected that workshop. Even so, Nicolosi couldn’t help himself and mentioned this approach in a different workshop that same year:
I have also blogged about how I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2005. The Lord used EMDR to help me get past some very serious traumatic events in my past. I consider it another example of healing prayer because I prayed before, during and after my EMDR sessions. I also debriefed with strong Christians after each session. None of that had to do with homosexuality and I can’t see how EMDR even fits with the topic of homosexuality unless someone was homosexually raped. I don’t see someone who simply struggles with SSA needing to elevate their attractions to the level of “trauma” in order to address those attractions in a way that is congruent with their faith.
I deeply respected Joe Nicolosi. I still do to a degree. He is a very smart man who does have some amazing insight and talent. He’s also very funny. That said, encouraging someone to use their “best porn picture” as a self-run, at home, non-directed, EMDR experiment is incredibly reductive of the method and assumptive of the outcome.
I really can’t see doing EMDR outside of a professional therapists office or for basic counseling issues.
And regardless of all that, I will never believe that Jesus would have us conjure up sin, using a secular method to renew our minds spiritually.
Reparative Therapists will do what they have to do but I am glad Exodus has distanced themselves from a therapeutic model that grows even more estranged from Christian Ministry and discipleship.
I also share Throckmorton’s curiosity about how the new Restored Hope Network will respond to reparative therapy.
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Wow, I’m sorry that Dr. Nicolosi wasn’t able to explain this in a way that people at Exodus could understand. There is nothing at all immoral or even controversial about this therapy. If anyone at Exodus tried it or even watched it demonstrated, they would understand. This is one of the MOST AWESOME breakthroughs in the treatment of SSA. It permanently eliminated 90% of my SSA.
What has bothered me about Exodus all along is that they treat homosexuality as simply an “avoid sin” issue. This can make sense for normal sins, but it can be very harmful when dealing with the mental illness of homosexuality.
A few hundred years ago, everyone assumed that Epileptics were “demonically possessed. Eventually, they realized it was a disorder and Christians stopped persecuting these people. Finally, medical science came up with some solutions (although imperfect) that could help Epileptics live semi-normal lives. My sister, for example has not had a seizure in several years. She still isn’t “cured,” but she has benefited from the medication.
Homosexuality is not the result of a lack of Faith or a lack of theological training. People don’t develop SSA because they haven’t heard enough sermons or lectures. It IS however an emotional disorder that in many cases significantly IMPAIRS a persons ability to relate to others in a healthy way (even if they have never acted on their SSA).
Reparative Therapy, EMDR, and a few other great modalities address this disorder in a ways that are very effective. For Exodus to condemn it out of sheer ignorance is a huge disservice to everyone that they claim to want to help.
90% of the time, I live as someone who NEVER had SSA (even though I acted out with over 1,000 men between 1994-2009). I have no fear of going to the gym or connecting with other men in healthy ways because there is no lust. SSA only occurs for me now when I’m in a depressed / Shame state. I have to avoid falling into that grey zone of Shame – rather than try to avoid the world of men.
Thanks for sharing your opinion. I think Nicolosi’s words and the reports I got are pretty clear. You seem to reduce Exodus’ opinion and success as somehow being less than RT. The truth is I have accomplished the same results you have (among others) without having to engage sin to try and overcome sin.
Exodus and I have not come to our conclusions out of sheer ignorance either. Everyone is entitled to their own conclusions and thanks again for sharing yours.
Thanks, Randy. I think this will help explain to curious people exactly why Exodus has moved away from Reparative Therapy. As you receive feedback, no doubt some pro-RT comments will help explain it even more.
HI Tony, I should also state that this is information I remember but I haven’t been on staff in a year so … there could be other things that I am not aware of. I know a lot of people who say they were helped by RT but the approach in general is growing more estranged from Christian discipleship as time passes. Maybe that will change … I don’t know but clearly RT doesn’t want to be known as anything other than a way to “cure” SSA.
I’m happy for you Randy and praise God for your healing.
What I meant by Exodus’ “ignorance” is their insistence that committing a Sin is somehow involved in Reparative Therapy. There is nothing at all immoral in ANY aspect of Reparative Therapy.
I listened to this presentation a few years ago when I started therapy with Dr. Nicolosi. Whoever cut it in this clip was very INTENTIONAL about taking it out of context. If you listened to the entire thing you would understand that he is NOT intending to encourage watching porn as part of therapy. Even in this INTENTIONALLY truncated clip, it is very clear he makes a joke about “the experiment.” (hence the laughter)
The use of EMDR to decrease SSA and increase OSA is NOT immoral. It is one of the best therapies currently available. I have followed the Holy Spirit’s lead this past year in reaching out to others with SSA to help them find healing (through Reparative Therapy, EMDR, and Journey into Manhood). Having tried Exodus for 7 years, I had given up all hope in my 20′s. I thank God for Dr. Nicolosi, his faith in the Lord, and his willingness to devote his life to helping people with SSA.
I’ve written to about 826 churches so far in the US and UK (most haven’t responded), but I keep writing anyway (hoping to reach those who are in the same position I was 3 years ago). I have heard from about 45 guys so far (who’s pastors / counselors shared my letters) and I’ve tried to refer all of them to Reparative Therapy and “Journey into Manhood.” I have also referred many of them to local Exodus ministries in the past.
I really hope that everyone at Exodus will consider the full context of this presentation (not this truncated clip) and realize that there is absolutely nothing inappropriate or immoral in Reparative Therapy. Everyone who has tried Reparative Therapy knows this.
I would encourage you to try to find ONE client (or former client) of Dr. Nicolosi who could say they were ever Encouraged to look at porn (of ANY kind).
Again, thanks for your opinions. I stand by my post and support of Exodus distancing themselves from RT.
For someone who has no idea what’s going on here, could you explain what EMDR is?
This is from Wikipedia so … take it with a grain of salt. I think what I am quoting here is correct:
That sounds pretty accurate. The EMDR International Association website is: http://emdria.org/
This website doesn’t reference SSA specifically, but it has become more and more common for reducing SSA. I know at least 6 Christian counselors here locally that have become certified and use it for helping SSA therapists (in the process described by Dr. Nicolosi). I have several friends that have benefited tremendously from it, as well as some friends who tried it, but found other therapy modalities (like “Body Work” and Pychodrama therapy) more helpful instead.
David Matheson, one of the creators of the “Journey into Manhood” weekend has been breaking new ground with a similar therapy called “Brainspotting.” The way he described it, it sounds like another version of EMDR that targets very precise areas of the brain. I have not experienced it myself, but it sounds really promising.
I don’t have time to read through some of these comments… however, I have read the article and one thing is, I’m perplexed as to why a Christian man would suggest using porn images during a therapy session. For the life of me I don’t understand and agree with you Randy that there is no way we can renew our minds towards purity and holiness with pornography … it’s like feeding the file, fueling the fire and just well, keeps one bound to dysfunction even if attractions change… I would much rather have a renewed mind in Christ while continuing to struggle occasionally to different degrees with same sex attraction then to use pornographic images for emdr therapy… that would mean the further exploitation of women … and men and I don’t believe that is right and it certainly doesn’t treat people with the dignity and respect that men and women should have. I wish I had known that these methods were out there long before now. I don’t know about Restored Hope Network I really don’t… I appreciate what you have written here …
“Reparative Therapists will do what they have to do but I am glad Exodus has distanced themselves from a therapeutic model that grows even more estranged from Christian Ministry and discipleship.”
and that’s a good reason…
Sarah, just to let you know. I fished this comment and another one made around the same time out of my spam queue. It was an automatic thing I just happened to notice while I was cleaning it out today. So here is a belated thank you for adding your comments.