You state in the post that for some reason the song just “pops into my head every couple of months.” And I have to admit that I was curious as to what prompted and inspired you to write this post…

I believe that although it may seem that things pop into our heads for no apparent reason, there is always a reason that these files resurface in our minds. Sometimes the reasons ellude our concious minds but if we dig deep enough we can often find them.

Music has one of the most curiously profound influences on human beings. (I guess that is why the adversary utilizes it to the fullest to affect our hearts.) Sometimes I almost think it’s becasue the energy of physical life itself could be based on something like a musical composition and vibrations of energy (think string theory or something like it) and that is part of why it has such a strong affect on us and why we seem to have a need to express and hear it.

You mention why you related to this Fleetwood Mac song so much as it speaks of the young man broken hearted and all alone on the edge of seventeen. I recall that you have stated you first walked into a gay bar at the age of seventeen (something we both have in common as well as artistic abilities, wierdness and quirky–or in my case dumb–sense of humors).

There are songs I hear (some I do not even like all that much, or maybe only a little) that instantly trigger memories decades later even if the event which is recalled only lasted a few moments.

I was also a homeless transient in Florida for a short time in my younger years and on my way there I met some folks (a married couple and their freind) and had breakfast or dinner in a greasy spoon diner with these people who were essentially strangers, but invited me to stay with them for a couple of days. And this eighties song came on, I forget who it is by but the lyrics go “I’ve been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life.”

And when that line played the woman immediately looked at me, almost as if a subconcious thought got the best of her. (We then both quickly looked away in good manners to avoid looking to deeply and embarrassing each other.)

I bearly remember her–any of our short conversations or even what she looked like, other than a vague image and the fact that she was very kind-hearted–but to this day whenever I hear the song I distinctly remember how she looked at me when the lyrics played and how I related her vunerability and the feeling of longing she had for fullfilling of some empty place in her heart and not quite knowing how to find it. Because I had been there countless times myself, and for me the feelings were often intensified or evoked by music. And I can think of other instances in which a song will strongly bring back the same decades old memories every single time.

The whole concept of how one little thing can stay with us for the rest of our lives and evoke feelings and thoughts that occured when we were first exposed to them is a profound example of how our earliest experiences in life can forever impact us. I think of earliest experiences of gender identity and sexualization, among other things, and why they are so hard to move beyond and can be so easily triggered well into our adult lives when we think we should be at an age to control our minds better.

Maybe there is a reason this song has stayed with you for so long and is “randomly” popping into your head. Even though you have grown and healed so much, it could be that part of you, which we all have deep within, that is continually trying to nurture and find nurture for the vunerable and heartbroken young man still inside your heart.

The lyrics of the white winged dove on the edge of seventeen song continue:

“I went today, maybe I will go again tomorrow… and the music there it was hauntingly familiar. And I see you doing what I try to do for me, with the words of a poet, and the voice of a choir…”

We are, after all, still human and living on this side of heaven; attachments to things and places and people come with a price we don’t always consider.

Ain’t that the truth. Thanks for sharing that observation. Very relevant and true. I do have an email newsletter I put prayer requests in. If you would like to get that the sign up for it is in the sidebar underneath the Facebook subscription button. AND I would love to pray for you too so let me know.

Thanks for your transparency in sharing this. In all honesty, transitions like this are hard even when guided by the Holy Spirit’s assurance. We are, after all, still human and living on this side of heaven; attachments to things and places and people come with a price we don’t always consider.

As a self-employed brother I’m writing to welcome you to the life of dependency, though I think you well know what to expect. But I’m really writing to encourage you in this new journey. Let me know how I can be praying for you, my friend.

Blessings in Christ our Sustainer,

Clint

If you need a therapist and want to save money and just vent, you know how to find my phone number. Iffinya got Skype I’ll introduce you to the dog.

Great points. It is always a VERY fascinating study on how a few simple words can completely alter and corrupt entire belief systems. That is why it is so important to really understand the origins of our beliefs and question whether or not they have validity.

Most Christians take contemporary and older doctrines, along with the Bible translations they read, at face value without truly researching and evaluating them. (I for one am guilty of not always doing all the research I can.) And I sympathize that in past times there was really no way for most to do any in-depth research on Bible topics so people had to settle for what they were spoon fed.

I thank God always that I was born in a time in which so much reasearch and study tools are easily available for free or at relatively little cost. Granted there sadly is so much error that we still have to sift through. I also thank God for the individuals who have dedicated so much of thier lives to in-depth research to help us better understand the original intent of scriptures. One who has really impressed me is Andrew Roth.

The need for study and research in our Christian walk is greatly pointed out in these video interviews with him on the Aramaic texts:

http://www.aent.org/video.htm